...and what else does Leviticus Say?

And what else does Leviticus say?

Leviticus 18:22 - "You shall not lie with a man as with a woman; it is an abomination." 

I'm going to go out on a limb here, and say that because of the present cultural climate, this just might possibly be the most well known bible verse currently by both Christians and non-Christians alike. It's usually followed by a, "It's as simple as that" or "That seems pretty clear to me."  Even those who  never cracked open a bible outside of their third grade sunday school classrooms can throw that one into a debate quicker than you can spell b-i-g-o-t. But what people don't know or want to talk about (so of course I'm going to talk about it) is all of the other delightful teachings than can be found in the good old book of Leviticus. So here we go - because I'm an all-or-nothing kind of gal. 

Leviticus 11:7-8 - "And the pig, though it has a divided hoof, does not chew the cud; it is unclean for you. 8 You must not eat their meat or touch their carcasses; they are unclean for you."

Translation: Don't eat pig. Don't touch pig. Don't think about pigs. etc.
Problems:

• Bacon
• Bacon 
• Bacon 
• Ham 
• Football 
• Bacon 
• I mean come on, my family eats ham on freakin' Easter. We're for sure going to Hell. 

Leviticus 11:9-12 - "9 Of all the creatures living in the water of the seas and the streams you may eat any that have fins and scales. 10 But all creatures in the seas or streams that do not have fins and scales—whether among all the swarming things or among all the other living creatures in the water—you are to regard as unclean. 11 And since you are to regard them as unclean, you must not eat their meat; you must regard their carcasses as unclean. 12 Anything living in the water that does not have fins and scales is to be regarded as unclean by you."

Translation: Don't eat anything in the water that doesn't have scales or fins.
Problems: 

• Red Lobster. 
• Joe's Crab Shack. 
• Shrimp Cocktails. 
• Crawfish Broils.
• Calamari.
• Octopus tentacle thingies. 
• If we followed this law, the Deadliest Catch would have never existed. And that would be completely tragic. 

Leviticus 11:20-21 - "20 All flying insects that walk on all fours are to be regarded as unclean by you. 21 There are, however, some flying insects that walk on all fours that you may eat: those that have jointed legs for hopping on the ground." 

Translation: Don't eat insects with four legs that can walk and fly....unless they're jointed....?

Problems: 

• This one just confuses the crap out of me. One of the very first defining characteristics of being an INSECT is that it must have 6 legs.......Bible....What you tryna say here? 

Leviticus 11:27 - "27 Of all the animals that walk on all fours, those that walk on their paws are unclean for you; whoever touches their carcasses will be unclean till evening."

Translation: Animals with four paws are unclean, if you touch their carcasses - you are unclean.
Problems:

• If you have ever had to bury your pet (or move roadkill), I highly doubt that that suddenly means that God thinks you're unclean and can't go to church (even if it's just until the "evening".) 

Leviticus 11:29-30 - "29 Of the animals that move along the ground, these are unclean for you: the weasel, the rat, any kind of great lizard, 30 the gecko, the monitor lizard, the wall lizard, the skink and the chameleon."

Translation: Lizards and other things that touch the ground are unclean.
Problems: 

• People definitely own lizards as pets. I mean, I don't see anyone boycotting the Geico commercial and this verse specifically talks about geckos. Clearly, Geico is unclean - why are we not more concerned!? 
• This verse also references their carcasses again - see above point about burying pets. 

Leviticus 12:1-6 - "The Lord said to Moses, 2 “Say to the Israelites: ‘A woman who becomes pregnant and gives birth to a son will be ceremonially unclean for seven days, just as she is unclean during her monthly period. 3 On the eighth day the boy is to be circumcised. 4 Then the woman must wait thirty-three days to be purified from her bleeding. She must not touch anything sacred or go to the sanctuary until the days of her purification are over. 5 If she gives birth to a daughter, for two weeks the woman will be unclean, as during her period. Then she must wait sixty-six days to be purified from her bleeding."

Translation: A woman who has just given birth is impure and not allowed in the church or at any religious ceremonies. If she had a boy, it's 33 days. If she had a girl, it's 66 days.
Problems:

• No one is standing outside of churches telling women who have just had kids that they need to get their unclean selves out of the holy sanctuary/temple/etc. They just aren't. 
• On a side note, this verse also mentions that it's not enough to get your period (which is supposedly what always happens at 33 days - because we know that all women's bodies are on the exact same timer) but you also have to bring a LAMB to the priest for sacrifice. You know, to apologize to God for bearing one of his children and being unclean for ____ period of time. Yes, I am aware that Jesus wiped away animal sacrifices by making the ultimate sacrifice himself - but that's almost even worse in this context when you think about it. It's kind of like saying that Jesus had to die so mothers of newborns were clean enough to go to places of religious significance. What? 

Leviticus 13 - It's the entire chapter - so I'm not going to post it here. Just google it :)

Translation: If you get a skin rash of any kind, you have to take it to your priest and let them examine it and henceforth declare you unclean. You are unclean until it goes away and you are reexamined by the priest, or you develop leprosy.
Problems: 

• no church for you zitty teenagers 
• or you little kid who accidentally rolled in poison ivy 
• OR YOU person with chronic eczema
• We go to our Drs - not priests - for our concerning skin rashes for good reason. 

Leviticus 15:16-18 - "16 When a man has an emission of semen, he must bathe his whole body with water, and he will be unclean till evening. 17 Any clothing or leather that has semen on it must be washed with water, and it will be unclean till evening. 18 When a man has sexual relations with a woman and there is an emission of semen, both of them must bathe with water, and they will be unclean till evening."

Translation: If a man ejaculates (be it during sex, masturbation, or sweet dreams) he is unclean. Everything/everyone he touches is unclean until evening and he needs to go take a bath.
Problems:

• If you masturbate (or have dream gratification), you are unclean and shouldn't go to church. Jesus would rather you go shower than come to church today. And you and your wife totally have to wait until after the Sunday service to consummate your love for one another - because otherwise no church for you. 

Leviticus 15:19-28 - Toooooo loonnngggggggg

Translation: There are a lot of verses here, but basically, women are unclean on their periods and for seven days after their periods and then again with the sacrificing pigeons to apologize to God for having the normal body function he gave you when he created you. Also, everything/everyone you touch during this time is unclean.
Problems: 

• I don't see people doing period checks at the doors to sanctuaries. Sketch. 
• There are definitely people who touch/share beds with/even have sex with women on their periods. I highly doubt that anyone expects them to refrain from going to church because of it. 

Leviticus 16:29-31 - “This is to be a lasting ordinance for you: On the tenth day of the seventh month you must deny yourselves[c] and not do any work—whether native-born or a foreigner residing among you— 30 because on this day atonement will be made for you, to cleanse you. Then, before the Lord, you will be clean from all your sins. 31 It is a day of sabbath rest, and you must deny yourselves; it is a lasting ordinance."

Translation: You must ALWAYS observe Yom Kippur.
Problems:

• That's a Jewish holiday, Christians don't even do this. 
• Jews don't believe in Jesus, and he is the only way to God. 
• If A + B = C.....we're all going to Hell. 

(We're going to skip Chapter 18 right now for an important reason) 


Leviticus 19:9-10 - "When you reap the harvest of your land, you shall not reap to the very edges of your field, or gather the gleanings of your harvest. 10 You shall not strip your vineyard bare, or gather the fallen grapes of your vineyard; you shall leave them for the poor and the alien"

Translation: Don't keep everything you earn for yourself. Share with those less fortunate than yourself and don't be greedy.

Problems:

• This one would be fantastic if we actually followed it. I mean, not reaping everything you sow so that you don't become greedy AND being willing to give a small part of what you earned to the poor and less fortunate (and EVEN the foreigner!?). 
• Hey God, the GOP has a bone to pick with you. You're undermining their whole platform here.

Leviticus 19:16 - "Do not go about spreading slander among your people. Do not do anything that endangers your neighbor’s life. I am the Lord. "

Translation: Basically, this verse and verses 11-15 are just saying to be a decent human being. 

Problems: 

• Slander: (def) n. oral defamation, in which someone tells one or more persons an untruth about another which untruth will harm the reputation of the person defamed
• TONS of prominent Christian groups have been doing nothing BUT slandering the reputation of the homosexual community since the 70s (and before). They've gone so far as to create their own 'research institutes' (Family Research Institute - amongst others) through which they publish 'scientific studies' that say that:
•  gay men are pedophiles...in fact, pedophilia is ,AND I QUOTE, "a homosexual problem"
• that homosexual assault is a very serious problem in today's military 
• that lesbian and gay relationships are notably more violent 
• that lesbians and gays have a long term goal of gaining access to more children 
• that homosexuals want to "abolish all age of consent laws and and to eventually recognize pedophiles as the 'prophets' of a new sexual order" 
• that if gays and lesbians had children, they would abandon them during their 'sex parties' 
• that homosexuals are 3 times more likely to make obscene phone calls
• that homosexuals are a third more apt to report a traffic ticket or accident (watch out for those rainbow bumper stickers boys and girls) 
• These studies are printed in their own, self-published journals because the 'scientists' behind them have been discredited by their perspective disciplines (such as the ASA and APA) and the 'sources' they cite have unsurprisingly similar credentials. 
• MORAL OF THE STORY: .....if that's not slander, then I honestly couldn't think of a better example. 

Leviticus 19:19 -  "Keep my decrees. Do not mate different kinds of animals. Do not plant your field with two kinds of seed. Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material." 

Translation: Not Needed.

Problems:

• This pretty little verse right here was one of the main ones used to oppose INTERRACIAL MARRIAGE back in the day. 
• People wear blended clothes all the time. I mean, literally daily. 
• Gross germination of flowers, grapes, etc. 
• Herb Gardens, vegetable gardens, flower gardens.... 
• Zonkeys, Labradoodles, Chiweenies, Ligers, etc. 

Leviticus 19:27-28 - "27 Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard. 28 Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the Lord."

Translation: Don't cut your hair, trim your bear, pierce your skin, or get tattoos. 

Problems: 

• Everyone does all of these. PEOPLE GET TATTOOS OF BIBLE VERSES. 
• Even the Christians who are adamantly against tattoos have cut their hair, beard, and usually have pierces ears (let's be honest.) 

Leviticus 19: 26...31 - "Do not practice divination or seek omens....31Do not turn to mediums or seek out spiritists, for you will be defiled by them. I am the Lord your God." 

Translation: Don't do all of that other 'spiritual' stuff that is out there. 

Problems: 

• No one's out there protesting fortune cookies or horoscopes being printed in newspapers. 

Leviticus 19: 33-34 "When a foreigner resides among you in your land, do not mistreat them. 34 The foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born. Love them as yourself, for you were foreigners in Egypt. I am the Lord your God."

Translation: Be kind to those who are not native to this land. Treat them as you treat citizens of your land. REMEMBER YOU WERE ONCE FOREIGNERS TOO. 

Problems: 

• If only people could remember this. We treat pretty much every kind of foreigner like crap (yes, this is a generalization) and you constantly see/hear things like "We're in a America! So learn to speak English!" or "Go back to _________" or it's all the "________ fault." 
• This is quite obviously not Egypt, but that doesn't mean that we weren't foreigners to this land once. The majority of Christians were a part of that whole colonization-by-the-white-anglo-saxon thing which lead to the genocide of almost an entire race of people.....the NATIVE Americans. Just saying. 

Leviticus 20: 9-27 - TOOOOOO LOONNGGGGGGG 

Translation: People who should be put to death according to these verses: 

• people who curse their father or mother
• adulterers 
• people who have sex with their step mothers (and the step mother) 
• people who have sex with the son's wife (and the wife) 
• gay men 
• those who practice bestiality 
• spiritual mediums (bye bye Theresa & Jennifer Love Hewitt) 

People who should be banished and/or die childless:

• people who marry their half-sisters
• men and women who have sex whilst she is on her period
• people who have sex with their half sisters 
• people who sleep with their aunts
• people who sleep with their sisters in law 

Problems: We're pretty freakin' picky-choosey about all of these, aren't we? 

Leviticus 21: (the whole chapter again) 

Translation: What a priest must do/cannot do: 

• [normal] priests cannot touch or be in the room with anyone who has died unless they are immediate family. People related to him by marriage do not count as immediate family. 
• Priests cannot cut their hair or beards. 
• He cannot marry a prostitute, divorcee, or widow. His wife MUST be a virgin and she has to be of his people. 
• A HIGH priest cannot cut his hair or trim his beard, but it is imperative that he always be well kept. 
• He cannot enter a room with any dead bodies at all - not even his immediate family. 
• He can't leave the sanctuary. That's where he is supposed to live. 

Problems: 

• Our priests/reverends/pastors/fathers/Brother/other term for leaders of churches/worship definitely  cut their hair. 
• They shave their beards. 
• They perform funerals where dead bodies are present in the room. 
• With the exception of the Catholic faith, in which their holy men live in the Rectory, pretty much everyone else just lives in a house with their wife and kids. 
• Sometimes priests and youth ministers have tattoos and even piercings! GASP! 
• If even our holiest of men are making themselves unclean... the rest of us are definitely doomed. 

Leviticus 22 - This chapter basically just reinforces that if you were deemed UNCLEAN by any of the previous chapters, you better not come to the sanctuary or partake of any holy offerings or you'll be in trouble with the priest and owe more animal sacrifices. 

Leviticus 23:1-2 (and the rest of the chapter) - "The Lord said to Moses, 2 Speak to the Israelites and say to them: ‘These are my appointed festivals, the appointed festivals of the Lord, which you are to proclaim as sacred assemblies.'"

Translation: These are the religious holy days/festivals which we are to regard as sacred and always keep: 

• The Sabbath - Specifically, you must rest. You cannot work on the Sabbath. 
• The Passover and the Festival of Unleavened Bread - starts at twilight on the 14th of January and continues for a week 
• Offering of the First Fruits - present your first grain to the Lord 
• The Festival of Weeks - After a lot of counting, present your grain again to the Lord
• The Festival of Trumpets - On the first of July (or first Sunday), present a grain offering and play trumpets. 
• The Day of Atonement - 10th of July (approximately) Deny yourself and present an offering to the Lord 
• The Festival of Tabernacles 

Problems: 

• Christians don't keep these festivals/holidays. 
• People still work on Sundays. 

Leviticus 24:15-16 - "15 Say to the Israelites: ‘Anyone who curses their God will be held responsible; 16 anyone who blasphemes the name of the Lord is to be put to death. The entire assembly must stone them. Whether foreigner or native-born, when they blaspheme the Name they are to be put to death."

Translation: Those who curse God's name or uses his name in vain is to be stoned to death by the people. 

Problems: 

• We don't stone people to death for saying G**dammit. We just don't. And people aren't passing laws or starting political movements to make this happen. 

Leviticus 24:17- "17Anyone who takes the life of a human being is to be put to death. 18 Anyone who takes the life of someone’s animal must make restitution—life for life. 19 Anyone who injures their neighbor is to be injured in the same manner: 20 fracture for fracture, eye for eye, tooth for tooth. The one who has inflicted the injury must suffer the same injury. 21 Whoever kills an animal must make restitution, but whoever kills a human being is to be put to death. 22 You are to have the same law for the foreigner and the native-born. I am the Lord your God.’”

Translation: You have the right to seek restitution against those who wrong you. Eye for eye, tooth for  tooth, murder by the tribe for murdering someone in the tribe, etc. 

Problems: 

• Christian's most definitely don't practice this anymore. 
• Yes, I do realize that when Jesus came, he turned the other cheek rather than seeking his restitution and therefore he taught us not to seek revenge like this verse says. 
• HOWEVER, if we are going to read everything in Leviticus like it should be taken literally and at face value, i.e. 18:22, then when reading this verse as well, we have to take it at face value. If someone punches you in the eye, you have the religious right to punch them back. 

Leviticus 25:14-53 - Basically the whole chapter again. Google ....GO! :) 

Translation: These verses are basically a guideline for how God's people are supposed to live amongst one another and treat one another. 

• Don't take advantage of each other when buying and selling land. Be fair and honest. 
• Land cannot be sold permanently because it belongs to God. 
• If someone has to sell off their land because they are poor, their relatives have the first rights to come and claim the land. If their relatives can't afford it, then when the person gets enough money to buy it back, they have the rights to it. 
• If you sell your house in the city, you have a year to change your mind and reclaim it.
• If any of your fellow men become POOR, you are to help them so that they can continue to live amongst you. It doesn't matter whether they're foreigners, strangers, or other members of God's people. You shouldn't lend them money with interest OR make a profit off of any food you sell them. 
• Don't keep your fellow countrymen as slaves, but rather as indentured servants or house workers. 
• However,  YOU CAN BUY SLAVES from neighboring nations. You can even leave them to your children, because they will be considered property. 

Problems:

• We definitely take advantage of one other when buying and selling things. 
• We don't do take backs on buying and selling property. 
• We definitely don't take care of our poor like these verses say to. And we definitely take preference over whether or not we think someone is worthy of help based on whether they're strangers, foreigners, or friends. 
• Money is pretty much only lent with interest, and food sold for profit. 
• IT IS NOT SOCIALLY OR MORALLY ACCEPTABLE TO BUY AND KEEP SLAVES. According to this, God would be cool with it as long as they are Canadian or Mexican instead of American. Even African works, I guess, if you consider the Earth one big neighborhood. Christians don't practice this (THANK the LORD). 100 years ago, many still believed this. But today, they are at least the minority. 

Leviticus 26:1- "Do not make idols or set up an image or a sacred stone for yourselves, and do not place a carved stone in your land to bow down before it. I am the Lord your God."

Translation: Don't make idols to worship, or images, or carve images into stone, etc. 

Problems: 

• Idol - n. and image or other material representing a deity to which religious worship is addressed 
• Now, I know this is borderline incredibly offensive to some people, but it has always bothered me that we carve out crosses or other religious symbols - yes, Christian symbols - and try to pretend like those aren't idols. Those ARE idols. Christian idols? Yes. But Idols none the less. 
• This goes with even mentioning American Idol, hero worship, celebrity, or the 'American Religion' in which we 'worship' the symbols of our nation like the bald eagle, the flag, the constitution, the pledge, etc. 

Leviticus 26:14-46 - Punishments for Disobedience 

Translation: Some things that will happen to us if we don't follow all of these laws laid forth in Leviticus: 

• famine
• fruitless crops
• wild animals will eat your children and cows and great ghost towns 
• plague 
• you will eat but always be hungry 
• you will eat your children 
• churches will be destroyed and dead bodies will pile up
• cities will lie in ruin 

Problems: 

• While there are some who would argue that this is actually happening, I would argue that it is most certainly not. There is nothing going on in today's world (murder, child abuse, tsunamis/other natural disasters) that haven't been happening since the beginning of the human race. The only difference is we now have the mass media which can spread these stories faster than was ever imagined to be possible in the past. And of course, bad news sells better than good news. 

Okay, so that's the book of Leviticus. 

Now, what I don't want people to get out of this blog is that I think we should just all throw the Bible away as irrelevant and no longer followed. Nor do I think that we should do this with the book of Leviticus itself. What I want for people to realize is that the Bible is the Holy Book we are to live by, yes, but it is also a historical text and that also needs to be taken into account when we read and interpret it's teachings. 

So what was going on during the time in which Leviticus was written? What's the context? 

Leviticus is most often attributed Moses after he led the Jews from Egypt and into the Holy Land, when in reality it is most likely a composite work by as many as 6 different priests. Either way, it takes place when God's chosen people have entered a new land and must try to pretty much develop from scratch a new civilization and way of life for themselves. They are by far a minority and also religious outcasts amongst the other tribes who are residing near by who are not necessarily friendly towards them in the least. They have to try to grow crops and be fruitful in a land that has never been harvested before, which any farmer can tell you is no easy task. And on top of all of this, they have to thrive and perpetuate their race so that God's people will grow in numbers. 

So when we look at Leviticus in that context, it's pretty clear that is is a set of rules, laws, and guidelines sent from God through Moses and His priests with the intent of helping his people survive, thrive, and populate the Holy Land, all while learning how to properly worship Him and give the glory to God. 

Let's look at some of the things forbidden in Leviticus again with this in mind. 

• Pork, Shellfish, Lizards, carcasses, etc. 
• Then: These are all animals and things that are known to carry diseases. Eating them without the proper preparation techniques (which I'm pretty positive couldn't have even been achieved back then) would have almost certainly resulted in serious illness or death. The same with touching but not necessarily eating lizards and other things. There's a reason why there is hand sanitizer everywhere at Zoos and Pet stores. 
• It was important for the health and survival of the people. 
• Now: We know better. We know how to cook things to rid them of any potential diseases or parasites. We know to wash our hands. When Leviticus was written, these rules were very important for the people to follow - but now they aren't necessary and people don't follow them. 

• Women being on their monthly period, having just given birth, or having sex with someone on their period, etc. 
• Then: This was not uncommon for the time, or the times to come over the next couple thousand years. It's not exactly like they had tampons or pads or other forms of sanitary products for women to wear around during their time of the month. Besides the church, women didn't go many different places when on their period - like basically anywhere but home. In medieval times, they were often even sent away until their monthly menstruation was over. Not only that, but blood is also a very big thing discussed in this book. Blood carries diseases and can be unclean, hence all of the advice to not touch or eat dead animals you see on the side of the road. So all blood was feared, animals and menstruation alike. You can somewhat understand where they are coming from. 
• It was thought to important for health reasons. 
• Now: We are not worried about being exposed to women's monthly bleeding for health reasons. And even if we were, we have tampons and pads now that pretty much keep all of that under wraps. We definitely don't expect our women to stay at home when they are on their periods. It's just not followed anymore. 

• Skin rashes or gushing or oozing of any kind. 
• Then: THIS IS OBVIOUSLY A SERIOUS HEALTH ISSUE! If you have an unexplained skin rash or oozing, you have probably contracted something and shouldn't expose other people to it. If you expose other people to it, then they might also fall ill and possibly even die from whatever you have. 
• HEALTH HEALTH HEALTH. How can God's people be expected to survive if they aren't cautious about being exposed to dangerous diseases? 
• Now: We pretty much have infectious skin diseases under control. Even if we don't, and someone contracts one, they will be in the hospital receiving care and the general focus will on keeping it from spreading and getting them healthy again and NOT on the fact that they are unclean to go to church. 

• All of the verses about looking out for the less fortunate, foreigner, poor, etc. 
• Then: Back then, the focus wasn't on you as a person but it was on the community of God's chosen people as a whole. If someone needed something, you gave it to them, because it helped your community. It kept everyone healthy and alive and worshiping God and spreading his word and populating the earth. 
• For the good of the continuation of the people. 
• Now: Well, it would be great if people still thought this way. Sadly though, most generally do not have the mindset, because they don't have to. We are not in a struggle for survival anymore. Christians are the dominant group and in most cases aren't worried about the survival of their people. There isn't the desperate need to focus on the survival of the community (although I know some will argue this) so this along with many other factors has turned the focus to the self. 
• Cutting your hair, trimming your beard, getting pierced, marked, tattooed, etc. 
• Then: There are a couple of things at play here. Number 1) cutting your body or tattooing yourself or getting piercing, etc. was all a pretty big health risk. You could easily contract an infection having an open wound. So, health. But even more than that was Number 2) the marks of the tribe. Contrary to stereotypical belief, you cannot always tell who is Jewish just by looking at them, and more important than anything else during this time was procreating and furthering the race of God's chosen people. So they did things to physically separate themselves from the neighboring tribes so that you COULD tell from looking at them physically if they were a part of the tribe. Like not cut their hair or beards, like not get tattoos or piercings or other markings, and LIKE CIRCUMCISION They were outward signs of the tribe, to essentially ensure purity of the tribe. Gentile converts, while accepted, weren't expected to be circumcised, because after all, they were converts and not original members by birth. Most orthodox Jews still hold this belief today. 
• To mark themselves with outwards signs so that they would be recognized as God's people and would be considered physically separate from the 'pagan tribes' which they were surrounded by. 
• Now: In general, you cannot outwardly identify people based on hair cuts, beard trimming, tattoos, piercings, or even circumcision. All of these things have lost their major religious significance and instead are aspects of our general culture. 

Using our historical perspective, it's pretty easy to understand why a lot of things are prevalently practiced in modern day Christianity, but what about Sexuality? How does the historical context play into sexuality in Leviticus, and more specifically, Chapter 18? 

Ok, here we go. 

Sexual Relationships that are forbidden, according to Leviticus: 

• No relatives - including: 
• mother
• step mother
• half sister, real sister, step sister, or sister-in-law
• grand children 
• aunts
• daughter in law
• a woman and her kids (or her kid's kids) 
• a woman on her period
• your neighbors wife
• other men
• animals
• Additionally, you shouldn't: 
• Masturbate
• Pull Out 
• Have sexual relations in any way other than vaginally. 

Okay, so let's look at this historically now. 

First, we'll take on sexual relations with relatives. There are any number of approaches you can take for describing why this would have been considered wrong in the eyes of God. 

• One - During biblical times, when you took a wife she was considered yours - she was your property. So having sex with someone else's wife (a relative's or a neighbor's, but especially one of your relative's wives), would have been seen as extremely dishonorable because she didn't belong to you. And while married men were free to sow their wild oats wherever they please (as long as it wan't with one of the above listed) married women were expected to be faithful to their husband. 
• Two - Incestuous relationships do not produce healthy children. There isn't a big enough gene pool, you need the variety in the chromosomes. Since ALL SEX during this time period was supposed to be for procreation purposes only, it wouldn't make sense to be having sex with people with whom you couldn't procreate viable, healthy babies. Additionally, having sex with in -laws and other people that you aren't technically blood related to would only serve to further convolute blood lines and make it much more difficult for future generations to avoid said incestuous relationships. 
• Three - It is also interesting, I think, to note that Incest is the only almost entirely universal sexual taboo found amongst just about every single tribe, nation, religion, cultural group, or other population in the whole world, Christian and non-Christians alike. Pedophilia is a close second. 

How about having sex with a woman and her offspring and her offspring's offspring? 

• Just like with having sexual relations with relatives who aren't blood relatives, this would serve to lead to other convoluted, incestuous relationships within the tribe. This is not good for procreation purposes, and therefore would not be beneficial for the growth and continuation of God's people. 

Sex with women on their period: 

• See numerous other points about this above. But here I'll also add, you cannot procreate with a woman who is on her period. So this then would be considered sex that wouldn't lead to a potential baby, and therefore not allowed. 

Other men: 

• You cannot create a baby during male on male intercourse, therefore this would have been considered sex without the purpose of procreation, and would have not been allowed. 

Sex with animals: 

• You can't make a baby with an animal. Additionally, we have already read numerous chapters detailing how we shouldn't touch animals at all because they are unclean, so it's is certainly reasonable to assume that having sex with them would be considered unclean as well. They also aren't even the same species as you so there are quite a few things that are pointless with this one. 

Masturbating, Pulling-Out, Contraception, and any other time semen is ejaculated other than unprotected, vaginal sex: 

• None of these can make a baby, and as we have pretty thoroughly covered above, perpetuating and expanding God's chosen people was of the utmost important during this time. 

Like with the other laws and rules in Leviticus, is it much easier to understand why they were once in place and so prevalently followed when we examine them with a historical perspective. It makes sense that certain sexual practices were banned to ensure the purity and perpetuation of the Jewish people. But people just don't follow these anymore. With the exception of the incest laws, which as I pointed out, are grounded in things besides just religion, the majority of those sexual restrictions listed above might be frowned upon today but they definitely aren't considered to be sins worthy of death. 

People have sex with their 'neighbors' wives. 

People have sex with women on their periods. 

People have sex outside of marriage or before marriage. 

People get divorced and remarry women who aren't virgins. 

Men have sex with men. 

Women have sex with women. 

And people most certainly masturbate, pull-out, use contraception, and have sex in ways other than vaginally. In fact, if I remember correctly, the Bible says that someone who is guilty of one sin is therefore guilty of them all (James 2:10). 

So basically, if you have ever masturbated; had premarital sex; had extramarital sex (but only if you're a woman); used a condom, the pill, Mirena, or other contraceptive device; if you have ever had anal sex, oral sex, or gotten a hand job, then you are exactly the same kind of sinner as someone who has had gay or lesbian sex. Congrats, and welcome to the club. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that Leviticus is a book of the Bible and an important part of God's teachings, but it is ALSO a historical text, written by men, that should be read and interpreted using the context in which is what written. You can't fully value one verse and use its word for word direct translation to mean one thing, and the say the verses following or preceding it are meant to be taken as metaphors or that outdated and therefore no longer important. It's a book - an entity as a whole. Pick one. 

If you choose to use Leviticus 18:22 in an argument with me about gay marriage, then I expect to see your long hair, untrimmed beard, clothing made from unblended materials, observation of all of the sacred religious festivals, refusal to eat pork, shellfish, octopus, insects, etc., and strict adherence to all other laws laid out in this book. 

If that's not you, then I ask you take a step back and realize how hypocritical you sound when you try to use Leviticus against gay couples when you have pierced ears, tattoos, eat ham or bacon, work a shift at the store on sunday, don't practice yom kippur, wear polyester blend shirts, use a condom (even if it's with your wife or husband), masturbate, treat foreigners like they are lesser than your people, cheat on your spouse, marry a woman who isn't a virgin, eat at Joe's Crab Shack, gossip or spread slander against someone, practice oral sex, anal sex, or get/give a hand-job, are uncircumcised, cut your hair, trim your beard, watch Long Island Medium on TLC, play with a gecko in your yard, etc. etc. etc. 

You are a sinner just as you say that homosexuals are sinners, but no one is working tirelessly to ensure that you won't be able to marry the love of your life (or, hell the man/woman you met last night in Vegas). No one is using those sins to try to deny you the rights granted to you by our Constitution. And no one yells at you on the street for being an 'abomination' or continually tells you that you are unwelcome in the church because you are certainly going to Hell. The double standard is absolutely nauseating, really. 

So, if you've made it all the way to the bottom of this post - Kudos! It was the doozy. To sum it all up, I guess my main point is that as Christians we have the responsibility to read the Bible and interpret in ways that are meaningful and logical, and don't just serve to further perpetuate hatred behind the mask of "tough love." 

Love you guys, 

Ellen 

OTHER QUICK POINTS: 

• MARRIAGE is a union of two people by the government 
• HOLY MATRIMONY is the religious union of a man and woman before God 
• If marriage was a strictly religious institution, then atheists, muslims, non-religious, pagan, people away from the church, etc. should not be allowed to get married either. And shouldn't weddings always then be performed in a church by a minister only? Hm..... 
• Sodom & Gomorrah is NOT about homosexuality - don't even get me started 
• The Bible does not define marriage as union between one man and one woman....the bible defines the spousal relationship as any of the following: 
• Eve had sex with one of the sons to populate the Earth 
• Abraham married his sister 
• A man who rapes an unmarried virgin - bonus! she's now half-price 
• A man and a girl whom he kidnapped from a neighboring tribe after murdering her family
• A man and his entire harem (even up to 700! woohoo!) 
• A man and a woman and her sister (as long as the first wife dies first)
• If you want your daughter to have a son and isn't happening, you can pay a slave to impregnate her and then he can take her as his wife!  

 

END SCENE.